It has become abundantly clear to me that I need to learn how to establish and maintain clear boundaries, keeping the principles of STP (Setting, Testing, and Presenting boundaries) in mind. While the concept of setting boundaries may appear straightforward, I struggle not only with defining them but also with enforcing and expressing them. Growing up without clear boundaries has made this process more difficult than I initially anticipated.
A recent incident served as a loud and clear reminder that I must establish and clearly communicate my boundaries. It is important for me to recognize that setting boundaries is not a rude act towards others but rather a way to facilitate healthy relationships. It is unfair to expect individuals in a relationship with me to intuitively understand my boundaries. As the saying goes, “you teach people how to treat you,” and this holds particularly true at the beginning of any relationship.
Moreover, I need to embrace the idea that boundaries are an expression of self-love and self-care, catering to both my physical and emotional well-being. It is crucial to accept that boundaries can evolve, with some requiring firmness while others can be more flexible. Additionally, I must grant myself the permission to establish new boundaries whenever I feel uncomfortable or uneasy about a situation.
Equally important is the need to assertively communicate and clarify boundaries when someone unintentionally infringes upon them. In the past, my inclination towards “southern” manners has allowed people to overstep, disregard, or even trample my boundaries, all while I smiled and pretended everything was fine. To those who have unintentionally crossed a boundary that I failed to clearly define, I sincerely apologize for any unintended consequences they may have faced due to my reactions.
In summary, I recognize the significance of learning how to set, test, and present clear boundaries in my interactions. Through this process, I strive to cultivate healthier relationships, prioritize self-care, and ensure that my boundaries are respected and understood by others