The Holy Scriptures remind us that “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear has torment” (1 John 4:18). Psychologists explain that fear is a natural response to danger, and the “fight or flight” instinct is not only ingrained in us but necessary for survival. However, emotional fear, stemming from past experiences or perceived threats, can become problematic. It distorts our perspective, leading to irrational decisions. Even worse, fear can prevent us from accepting the truth and its consequences. Fear, this four-letter word, can either be a survival instinct or an emotional response. Our minds are powerful, wired to detect danger and react in a split second. Emotions, on the other hand, function differently. They are natural instinctive states of mind influenced by our circumstances, mood, and relationships.
I am intimately familiar with fear, as it has influenced nearly every aspect of my life. I can’t say that every fear-based decision I made was wrong. In fact, the fear of being unable to support myself or my children led me to pursue a career in dental hygiene. Interestingly, as I reflect on this, many of the “positive” decisions based on fear seem to revolve around financial insecurity.
However, fear has also blinded me to certain circumstances that I saw but refused to acknowledge because of the consequences. When your mind plays games with you in such a way, it can intensify fear and make you question your own sanity. Nonetheless, this “skill” served me well as a child when I faced traumatic experiences as a child. Yet, it becomes detrimental when confronted with infidelity that I chose not to acknowledge. At that point, I began doubting my own trustworthiness. If I can’t trust myself, who can I trust?
I am aware that fear can cause me to say and do things I later regret. It can paralyze me when action is necessary or prevent me from expressing what needs to be said. It is the fear of rejection that stops me from setting clear boundaries. Paradoxically, it is also fear that drives away the very people I claim to want in my life. How can I overcome this fear that seems to have a firm grip on my existence?
Love. Perfect love has the power to push fear aside.