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Words

Words hold significant power. The Scriptures say that “Life and Death are in the Power of the Tongue.” It is through words that we establish connections with others. Our world boasts an astounding 7000 different languages, which means 7000 distinct avenues for communication. I use words in this blog to convey my thoughts and emotions. I am deeply aware of the inherent power of words. They can breathe life into our existence when spoken with love and empathy, or they can become weapons that inflict pain and suffering.

Today, I gazed around my apartment, I noticed the presence of words that serve as poignant reminders of fundamental concepts. Phrases like “Walk by Faith” encourage me to persevere in life, even when the path ahead remains unclear. It’s a reminder to place one foot in front of the other, trusting that it will ultimately lead to self-awareness and happiness.

“But God” reminds me that I have survived trials and tribulations, emerging resilient. I know that not everyone shares my belief in a higher power, and I too have wrestled with uncertainty at times. Yet, as I reflect on my life’s journey, I am inclined to believe that some divine force sustained me during moments of despair, self-destructive thoughts, and the desire to never wake up in the mornings. Thanks to God, I’ve awakened each morning, dried my tears, and continued my journey.

I maintain a whiteboard and I change the words to serve as personal reminders. These reminders have spanned from “Let Love Lead” to “She Created a Life She Loved” and “When People Show You Who You Are, Believe Them.” Currently, I draw inspiration from my Aunt Sue’s wisdom: “It’s bad when people lie to you, but it’s terrible when you lie to yourself.”

But most importantly I recognize the need to use kind, caring, supportive, and encouraging words when I talk to myself. This self-compassion is how I am learning to love myself.

Waiting Part 2

In a previous post, I touched on the topic of patiently waiting for that elusive relationship built on trust and respect. Recently, someone inquired about what I desired in a relationship, and my response, while seemingly straightforward, carries its fair share of complexity and contradictions. I yearn for my own “Knight in Shining Armor,” yet I don’t perceive myself as dependent on a provider or in need of saving. I have a Savior in my life already, though our current rapport isn’t at its best – but that’s a tale for another time. Today, I wish to delve into the things I long for in a relationship and ponder whether they’re mere fantasies.

Can these desires truly exist in reality? Join me as I indulge in some daydreaming about the qualities I’d like to experience in a relationship. I’m aware that this list might not be exhaustive, and it’s likely influenced by romance novels and movies. Nevertheless, here it goes: I aspire to have the kind of relationship that prompts onlookers to think, “Wow, they genuinely love each other” when they see us together. I want those moments when our gazes lock across the room, and we intuitively understand each other’s thoughts. I yearn for times when I’m at the stove, and his arms encircle me, causing us to forget about cooking as we turn off the stove. I long for cozy, rainy days spent intertwined in bed, snuggling. I crave receiving a midday phone call instructing me to arrange care for the dog and pack a bag. I want to be the person he turns to when celebrating successes or when things go awry. I envision us writing heartfelt poems to one another. I aspire to be best friends while still encouraging one another to maintain friendships outside of our partnership. I want to feel cherished, desired, and loved. I hope we’re mature enough to agree to disagree and resolve conflicts before bedtime. Essentially, I desire my knight in shining armor, my prince charming, my soulmate, my other half.

So, can this cherished fantasy genuinely exist in the real world? If you were to inquire about my prayer today, I’d respond: “Let me find my partner; they don’t need to be flawless, but they must love me. OR Help me to accept that these idea’s are mere fantasies’ and stuff that dreams are made of.”

Judgement

Recall the age-old adage, “Walk a Mile in My Shoes.” Often, people voice their viewpoints as if they are facts, inadvertently failing to recognize that they are, in fact, passing judgment. They do so based on their own personal experiences or the experiences of others, without pausing to empathize with a different perspective. I don’t wish to be critical, but I do want to pose a few questions.

Could it be that people overlook the possibility that others have lived different lives? Or are they merely echoing what they’ve been taught? It could also be a lack of understanding regarding how sensitive certain topics might be for others. I sincerely hope it’s not a lack of empathy. I would prefer to believe that most people make these remarks out of sheer ignorance rather than a callous disregard for the potential harm their opinions may cause. I acknowledge that we all say things we later regret, and that we’re all guilty of speaking without thinking. Furthermore, we all engage in discussions about subjects we know little about, often mistaking common sayings for factual truths.

Let me always remember to weigh my words carefully. Let me acknowledge that my life experiences diverge from those of others. Let me remind myself that not everyone needs to hear my perspective. Above all, let me never pass judgment until I’ve “walked a mile in their shoes.”

Bucket List Adventures!

After extensive planning and some initial apprehension, I finally took the plunge! I embarked on my first journey outside the United States, heading to Dublin, Ireland. Initially, when I envisioned this adventure, I thought a friend would accompany me. However, when she couldn’t make it, I summoned the courage to go on my own. It was a bold decision, but I was determined to explore a foreign country, dine at restaurants solo, and navigate through unfamiliar city streets. And you know what? I did it! I am immensely grateful for this incredible opportunity, and I’ve to share the link to the Google Slides presentation I’ve put together.

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/e/2PACX-1vSNJoNMNwf95l2ar2hz6mHa9H4CVtX5soRlgGpHAvf_6hA_357jtkLnYeAqgjquh8AUNVl1MKFhwnez/pub?start=false&loop=false&delayms=3000

Excitement vs Stress

Vacation, the Bucket List, Travel, International adventures – all of these concepts sound incredibly exciting, don’t they? However, the anxiety that comes with creating and double, or even triple-checking your list, constantly adding items, the nagging fear of forgetting something essential – it can be overwhelming. I may tell myself that I am a capable, independent person who can manage everything on my own. I’ve got this, right? But deep down, I can’t help but feel a twinge of fear and uncertainty. After all, I never navigated customs, and traveling solo is an entirely new experience. Doubts creep in: Have I made a mistake in my planning? Is there something crucial I’ve overlooked? What more should I be doing to prepare?

Is this “fun” worth all the anxiety? The trip is bought and paid for and it would be embarassing to cancel it all now… So UP UP and a WAY!

Come On People

In recent days, I’ve encountered some of the most self-centered individuals I’ve ever come across. Has basic decency and compassion disappeared? What happened to the golden rule of treating others as you’d like to be treated? It’s not about mere politeness; it’s about our fundamental humanity. Everyone be entitled to basic human dignity? Since when did speaking without any thought or considering the impact of our words become acceptable? Come on, folks! Is it too much to ask to treat others with respect? Why is it okay to waste someone’s time? Why is it acceptable to disregard someone’s feelings entirely?

When someone opens up and shares something personal, what gives us the right to be judgmental and cruel? Has the COVID pandemic rewritten all the rules the of empathy? Has isolation so drastically altered and warped society that people have forgotten how to be decent human beings? Hey guess what? Not everyone thinks, acts, or experiences life the same way. Is it really so difficult to be kind? You don’t have to understand everything about someone; just accept them, and realize that they have feelings and they have hurts, and experiences in life that may differ from your own. They deserve your respect, and they deserve consideration. It’s called human decency.

Waiting

Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself waiting. During my childhood, I waited my Mother’s arrival to rescue me from the clutches of Mr. Hammon, my abuser. As I grew older, I waited for the day I could leave home, unaware that a different kind of hardship awaited me. Yet again, I found myself waiting for an escape.

I recall after my first divorce, returning from work to an empty house was a mix of relief and sadness. It felt liberating not to have demands placed on me, but also melancholic to lack someone eagerly waiting for my return. I seem like I am always waiting. Currently, I’m in a moment of waiting as I count down the hours until I meet a friend for a morning hike. However, another form of waiting persists within me.

It’s been two years since my marriage ended, and while I’m grateful for this phase of my life, a sense of waiting lingers. Perhaps I’m waiting for something elusive, a dream that might not even be attainable. Is this prolonged waiting futile? Should I release my expectations and relinquish hope for the kind of relationship founded on trust and respect? Is it wise to continue this waiting game or should I make peace with the possibility that such a relationship might remain beyond my grasp? Would I experience emotional relief by putting an end to this waiting?

And what if those aspirations simply fade away? How would life unfold if I ceased waiting altogether?

Respect

If you look in Webster’s dictionary, the third definition of “Respect” is as follows: a) a strong or special regard, akin to ESTEEM, b) the characteristic or state of being held in high esteem, c) respects in plural form, denoting expressions of elevated regard or deference. To esteem, is to assign value, holding in high regard, and treasure. So, what does the respect truly entail within interpersonal relationships? Far too frequently, I observe instances illustrating the absence of respect. These manifest as harsh words, disdainful attitudes, an absence of concern, and a disregard for the feelings of others. Where as when, you respect your partner you value them as individuals, you hold treasure them, and desire the best for them.

I am firmly convinced that relationships cannot endure without respect. Once respect is forfeited, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship deteriorates. I’m of the belief that love cannot genuinely exist without respect. I think respect is one of the fundamental pillars supporting love. If you hold affection for someone, respect becomes an inherent component. But I question is it possible to rekindle lost respect? In other words, if love was once present but respect eroded, can respect be restored, thus allowing love to rekindle? I’ve personally encountered situations where respect was lost, only to realize that respect had never existed from the outset. Determining whether someone respects you remains a puzzle.

I’ve experienced the consequences of insufficient respect – I know what happens when a seemingly an affectionate partnership crumbles because respect is lost by one side is lost. I wonder though have any of my relationships ever had the respect that is needed to foster true love. I would venture to speculate the answer is no. And somehow that is extremely sad.